MICROPOST: Back To UP (even for a while) and I Love It!

God willing, my hours tomorrow would be filled with such joy and placidity yet again as I embark on a trip to my second alma mater, the University of the Philippines Diliman, so as I may meet with my adviser on my plans for the upcoming semesters—apart from this one of course, where I didn’t have the chance to enroll due to various reasons. Alongside such a mission of mine would be another one of those job hunting routines I’ve been undertaking since November of last year; and this time, I’d be submitting a resume for one of the available vacant positions under the UP Department of Extension Programs. And this time, I hope to be considered for the (permanent) position since I badly need a job!

Updates on my trip shall I post, hopefully, on Thursday. Till then, please pray for my great desire to have 1) a job once and for all; 2) be reconsidered for enrollment for the next semester after my brief hiatus at University.

This Is What I Get for not Checking Emails Regularly.

Since I got hold on a new portable install of Opera Mail (very handy and lightweight as an email desktop client), I was able to scan all folders for whatever delayed, unread, or junk email that I have so I may delegate those in their appropriate folders or eject them from my inbox altogether. It isn’t easy to have a cluttered inbox, what with all those unread mails especially so I decided to play exterminator in some way. To some point, I got to purge certain messages that are relatively useless or those that I just wanted to forget altogether and I sighed in relief somehow upon knowing that I was halfway in such a task. However, something caught my attention and I began to feel a little ache heaving in my chest that I felt a bit shaky:

English-Seminar-EmailOh yes—the above was an invitation for a language research seminar coursed through a faculty member from the College of English and Comparative Literature in UP Diliman ; and when I looked carefully, it was sent last November 24. Yes, November 24!! I was shocked because I remembered not having checked my email account for two weeks on end already! If only I were diligent enough I could have RSVPed all at once so I could partake of yet another session of mind-enriching lectures by eminent language professors of famed institutions in Singapore. But no. I was too tired and lazy even to take a peek into my inbox, no thanks to my usual reasons of a slow internet connection, a rundown netbook that does nothing but overheat, or my Firefox browser taking up all my CPU resources. Heck, I could dual boot and access Ubuntu instead of crappy ol’ Windows 7 Starter for gosshakes.

There: I missed a most rare opportunity for a meet and greet with scholars who I believe are most worthy to emulate. Heaven knows when another lecture might take place; and when it does, I’ll definitely make sure I’ll be there, God willing.

No use crying over spilled milk indeed.

The Problem of a Paper and Why Emotions Run High with It

To make a long story short, it has been two weeks ever since I last borrowed a book from our school’s library and renewed some others so as I may still bring them home as references for my two reports. But I have been scouring the library for resources as early as late October since I have anticipated that things would be rough and tough for me as days tag along, given the fact that I am not growing any younger hence my brain cells losing acumen. To admit: I am not as sharp as I have been in my youth—as I have mentioned in my previous post, 9 more years and I will be forty—so reading materials for that much sought-after data and referencing can be a pain in the neck. To complicate matters, I have been diagnosed with a kind of epileptic condition, one of the repercussions of which would be a degradation of my existing neurons, letting them “die” through a series of seizures hence accelerating the onset of dementia or Alzheimer’s. Of course, I would do everything in my power to deny that it should be so, but in actuality I now feel the onslaught of such symptoms: there would be glitches in my comprehension skills that I could not focus properly. It does not help that I also experience panic attacks and anxieties, with random breakdowns that render me utterly helpless. All these have I kept in mind, the reason for preparing really earlier for two written reports (with another one coming), all for my mental health’s sake. I do not want to plummet yet again into a Gehenna of hyperventilating spiels or worse unbearable breakdowns that leave me desolate for days on end. All I want is to be prepared, well-versed on my reports, and confident that I know I can deliver.  (more…)