New Year @ 2016

It’s 2016! Well, of course this should mean in terms of the Gregorian calendar as we know it which, for some, would not make sense at all since there are tonnes of calendars extant in the world depending on particular creeds or traditions, preferences even. However you may put it, though, the new year—again in terms of the Gregorian tradition—has been a usual source of drive to change oneself for the better if not be more productive during the onslaught of a Monday-to-Sunday cycle occurring 365 times (which should then compose a year). Given this fact, most people would dare redeem themselves by a myriad of other tasks to “make themselves better” or finalise some overhaul they’d like to append themselves to so life would flower into such bliss, away from all the mayhem of the “year that was.” Given this fact, new year resolutions begin to crop up with all those duly-worded pledges aimed at making good at one’s dabbling with daily affairs—sometimes all too gallant, professing indignation over the anathema of 12 months’ past. Well of course this would indeed be of noble cause since new years almost always signify new attempts at reforming those which need reform, despite how inconvenient.

In light of the aforementioned, I too have my personal resolutions which I have dared myself (in all true mettle) to hereby reveal—not so much to brag about agendas but more of a resolve to transcend my personal flaws (some of which have been totally ingrained in me ever since childhood). Indeed so, I need change in a myriad aspects of my imperfect life, given that I’ve been mainly embroiled in a diversity of abhorrent life routines that consist mostly of the depression-mania-depression-anxiety-depression cycle. This, as far as I am concerned are borne out of my own flair for indecisiveness, not to mention indiscretions concerning a plethora of life choices sort of muffling my own inner voice. So, for this year, I decided to decide: I want my own inner voice back (plus an unbridled personal force to execute ideas into completion) and not those run-of-the-mill conversations in my head spawning different aspects of ruminations muddled by hurt and hatred notwithstanding some sort of pining for a long-lost almost-love interest. Relatively so, I began having other things I believe would make my 2016 a tad bit more cultured than Shakespeare’s ruffianesque characters or a smiling macaque; and such I sought to list down here as accurately as possible… before they slip away into a black hole’s oblivion.

Without further ado, I hitherto present to everyone my aspirations for 2016, goals that I shall strive to achieve but without any rumbling desire to pressure myself unto perfection (the list shall be divided into short-term and long-term so some items seemingly impossible or far-fetched may be categorised appropriately):

Short-term goals:

1. Commence a habit of prayer;
2. Not overthink;
3. Seriously, once and for all, keep up with my writing tasks given me for various websites;
4. Be more diligent in job applications since I am desperate now for a job;
5. Blog more often about better things to satiate a burgeoning desire to write and write;
6. Sleep on time and not overwork myself to Gehenna’s pits;
7. Wake up early and jog every morning to keep myself fit;
8. Eat only what’s healthy and required AND stick to my prescribed dietary regimen;
9. Drink my meds diligently;
10. Read a book often to prevent dementia (concurrently am on a selection discussing E.M. Forster the novelist);
11. Write a poem each day;
12. Watch at least one movie per week (sensible ones and a trickling of Pinoys’ version of hilarities for comic relief);
13. Keep my temper in check (mine could rival Henry VIII’s);
14. Develop a knack for patience (it’s a virtue after all);
15. Rein in social media presence because I have bounding pulse syndrome whenever I get hooked up the computer too much;
16. Be more punctual and organised;
17. Delegate my time wisely;
18. Be more prudent;
19. Watch out for sudden outbursts and be amenable in apologising for those (the legend of such outbursts is a long story);
20. Settle my library dues;
21. Embody the “cleanliness is next to Godliness” slogan (not that I’m utterly messy but that attitude of beholding the cleaning occupation as tedious and allergy-inviting… uh, unbearable those)

Long-term goals

1. Learn to face challenges head-on and not complain about them;
2. Adjudge oneself worthy of tasks being given especially in the workplace;
3. Remain longer than two years in a job despite numerous challenges;
4. Be more open to possibilities beyond my own safe-zone;
5. Become less scared in venturing into different writing projects (currently I’m focused on poetry but short stories and novels do not seem to be a bad idea);
6. Be more appreciative of children—I am not a fan of children actually, in contrast to most of those I know whose hearts melt easily as they get to see cutesy little tots in their most humourous and innocent ways, and I’ve struggled with that for years;
7. Take the initiative to seek other people’s company more often and not let my anthropophobia get the best of me;
8. See the brighter side of life even when the going gets tough;
9. Practice humility as it ought to be practiced;
10. Dwell not on hurt, anger, and disappointment but make these as means to edify my attitude towards things;
11. Explore new interests;
12. Love family ever more than before;**
13. Make sure to consult God primordially before any endeavour;
14. Know what I really want;
15. Stick to sound and Godly decisions

Sure, my aforementioned list seems to be a mouthful but they all boil down to the following: a rejuvenated personal take on things I live with and live by. Sure, I do have desires of acquiring some worthwhile possessions, some luxurious in a sense (like a car and a hefty amount of cash that I can spend on whatever I find necessary, like insurance) but I believe those should take a backseat for now. All I’d envision for my 2016 is more of the immaterial, intangible: how I may possibly translate from living a ruckus of a life to that which fulfills Maslow’s hierarchy of needs (sort of like that). Veritably enough, I want to change with a viable goal to elevate myself from being a “loser” in my own terms. As God definitely gives us more chances to live in His version of perfection—his mercies and love are new every morning according to the book of Lamentations—the more do I vie to live up to that which incidentally forms one of His longings for us as His adopted sons. 2016, therefore, must witness a transformation on my end and this shall be my mantra.

Ut in omnibus glorificetur Deus.

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** My parents and I have never had an equally cordial relationship due to some issues that have blurred my self-esteem; and for years I could not forgive them who I have branded miscreants in my own definition of the word.